Affected by Social Anxiety

I believe a mental disorder is measured in terms of functionality. An adult person should be able to accomplish certain activities in his regular life, such us: being able to take care of himself/herself, work, study, have a family relationship, have friends, have a couple, etc.

How much the functionality of the person is affected in terms of these different aspects is what would tell us, how dysfunctional the person is. But to call social anxiety a mental disorder, to me that’s not correct.

We have social difficulties, we have problems establishing relationships, we’re “afraid” of social situations because of our fears of being rejected, because we are afraid of being harm by others. But to say that we have a “mental disorder” is too much.

This of course is my personal view of Social Anxiety. I believe in the possibilities of having a better quality of life, even though of social fear, we are still able to develop a good life, each of us have our own strengths and weaknesses, based on that we must learn to build our own space in life . Of course I respect others thoughts related to this matter.

So I would say we have a social “dysfunction” that can be measured in each individual according to how much affected is his/her regular life.

How much is your regular life affected? Talking about family, study, work, friends, hobbies, etc? From 1 to 10, how much do you think social anxiety has affected your life?

Social Anxiety is a Survival response, not a pathology: Professor John Breeding, PH.D Psychologist

Have you noticed how I don't called Social Anxiety a "disorder", the word itself just gives me the sense of illness.



I found a great resource (video) from a well known Psychologist, Dr John Breeding, I was so glad to find it, in this 20 minute video he tells us his own perception of Social Anxiety and mentions that “Social Anxiety is a survival response, not a pathology). That confirms my theory. This is not a disorder.

He shows a very interesting approach to the subject, mentioning that the results of this type of diagnosis gives pharmaceutical companies a justification to sell medicines to “cure” you, when is not more but marketing, To the respect he mentions a document named: “Selling Sickeness” that approaches the marketing of mental illnesses in order to sell pharmaceutical products, we should check the document. Probably would be a reason for another post.

Professor Breeding also gives a couple tips when dealing with anxiety, he talks about three basic principles to follow:
- Better lifestyle: exercising, eating properly, meditation, breathing.
- Allow feelings during the crisis; permit yourself to feel what you are experiencing.
- Get off the attention of what is bothering you.

Finally he gives a couple resources to check that may help us in the process of a better quality life:
- Resources and Information on Drug Abuse
- How to get off Psychiatric Drugs Safely
- Dr. John Breeding Website

Difficult Times: Rising Anxiety

Last few days have been really difficult, my anxiety has increased, it’s amazing how I find my mind going through roads of the most negative thoughts, I am always thinking the worst things that can happen to me.

If I hear somebody laughing then I think this person is laughing of me, if I hear somebody saying something to another person in a bus or at the gym, etc, I think they are talking of me, or just simply keep thinking that things are going to go wrong, that I am going to loose my job, or that I will never be able to have a relationship, or that people is trying to do something bad to me… I mean it’s crazy, and my mind just doesn’t stops.

I am into a psychological process, I attend to therapy every Saturday and it has helped me a lot, I know it is an important part of my process and that it takes time… I will probably be going to a psychologist the rest of my life and that is ok with me if I feel I need to and that it‘s doing me good.

Finally today after a few days in crisis I feel the anxiety has gone down and I feel a lot better.

I have a healthy lifestyle, I don’t take any medicines, I exercise a lot, try to eat properly, I also take vitamins, avoid any substance that I think might alter me like coffee, smoking, drugs, etc. But my social life is… complicated, I am afraid of getting close to people and talk to them, every time I do it, it is like affronting the worst of the fears, I obliged myself to do it every time, but avoid to do it if I feel it is not necessary for my life.

I get desperate many times, I don’t know what to do, I would like to be able to tell people that I have social anxiety when I meet them or when I talk to people I know, I think that will reduce my anxiety, but I don’t know how to handle that, I don’t want people to look at me like I am sick or mentally ill, not everybody is ready to handle this type of information, so I just keep it to myself. Only a few people know about it: my therapist, and a couple friends of mine. I tried to talk about it in my family, but they just didn’t give me the space, they thought I was manipulating… they just don’t think it is true or possible, they just deny it.

How do you handle this, do you tell others about what is going on in your life? Do you tell other people you have social anxiety? What has worked better for you?