Affected by Social Anxiety

I believe a mental disorder is measured in terms of functionality. An adult person should be able to accomplish certain activities in his regular life, such us: being able to take care of himself/herself, work, study, have a family relationship, have friends, have a couple, etc.

How much the functionality of the person is affected in terms of these different aspects is what would tell us, how dysfunctional the person is. But to call social anxiety a mental disorder, to me that’s not correct.

We have social difficulties, we have problems establishing relationships, we’re “afraid” of social situations because of our fears of being rejected, because we are afraid of being harm by others. But to say that we have a “mental disorder” is too much.

This of course is my personal view of Social Anxiety. I believe in the possibilities of having a better quality of life, even though of social fear, we are still able to develop a good life, each of us have our own strengths and weaknesses, based on that we must learn to build our own space in life . Of course I respect others thoughts related to this matter.

So I would say we have a social “dysfunction” that can be measured in each individual according to how much affected is his/her regular life.

How much is your regular life affected? Talking about family, study, work, friends, hobbies, etc? From 1 to 10, how much do you think social anxiety has affected your life?

Over Medicated Social Anxiety?

Social Phobia From a Harmful Dysfunction Perspective

With the series of articles I’m writing about social phobia not being a mental disorder but just a temperament condition, I want to show a different perspective on the matter and trying to explain my position towards it. I believe our society is over medicating certain conditions because of the need of pharmaceutical companies to create illnesses to make profit and our need of “fast solutions” to our problems.

I acknowledge there are different levels of social phobias of course and some can be really devastating but to call social anxiety a “mental disorder” implies an incapacitating condition in the mind of the person that is being diagnosed as such.

I think social anxiety should be approached in terms of functionality of the person with such condition, I mean how much is this condition an impediment to live a “normal life”: Establish relationships (family, friends, couple), to work, study, have kids, etc. Here is a part of a document I found, it’s really worth reading:

“Whether it is disordered depends on whether a dysfunction exists; that is, whether mechanisms that generate and regulate social anxiety fail to perform their function of minimizing risk while allowing social interaction. Such dysfunction involves greatly disproportionate anxiety intensity relative to the triggering situation: anxiety reaches debilitating levels in species-expectable tasks or remains intense when biologically plausible triggers are absent or minimal, for example, during interaction with family members or other nonthreatening familiars; or when engaging in basic functions, such as eating away from home; or in situations where there is no real social scrutiny or chance of losing status, such as sitting anonymously in a lecture hall. Anxiety must not just occur in culturally desirable but species-unexpectable tasks, such as speaking before audiences.”

Another interesting document from the review of the book of Allan V. Horwitz: "Creating Mental Illness":

"Allan V. Horwitz examines current conceptions of mental illness as a disease. He argues that this notion fits only a small number of serious psychological conditions, and that most conditions currently regarded as mental illness are cultural constructions, normal reactions to stressful social circumstances, or simply forms of deviant behavior. According to Horwitz, the formulation of mental illness as disease benefits various interest groups, including mental health researchers and clinicians, prescriptive drug manufacturers, and mental health advocacy groups, all of whom promote disease-based models. Presenting case studies in maladies such as hysteria, multiple personality disorder, and depression, he examines the major causes and treatments of mental illness, paying special attention to the use of pharmaceuticals. While biologically based causes and treatments fit some of the entities formulated, Horwitz finds that more often than not, social responses offer far more suitable remedies."

Interesting theory worth taking a look at. I just want to show a broaden social anxiety perspective, other than the regular Psychiatric one.

Here is question I would like to ask in terms of functionality of your own life: Do you feel your social anxiety is:

- Extremely disabling
- Mildly disabling
- Doesn’t interferes with your life
- Other

Go on to read the whole document if you are interested, I recommend it:

Are We Overpathologizing the Socially Anxious?

Social Anxiety is a Survival response, not a pathology: Professor John Breeding, PH.D Psychologist

Have you noticed how I don't called Social Anxiety a "disorder", the word itself just gives me the sense of illness.



I found a great resource (video) from a well known Psychologist, Dr John Breeding, I was so glad to find it, in this 20 minute video he tells us his own perception of Social Anxiety and mentions that “Social Anxiety is a survival response, not a pathology). That confirms my theory. This is not a disorder.

He shows a very interesting approach to the subject, mentioning that the results of this type of diagnosis gives pharmaceutical companies a justification to sell medicines to “cure” you, when is not more but marketing, To the respect he mentions a document named: “Selling Sickeness” that approaches the marketing of mental illnesses in order to sell pharmaceutical products, we should check the document. Probably would be a reason for another post.

Professor Breeding also gives a couple tips when dealing with anxiety, he talks about three basic principles to follow:
- Better lifestyle: exercising, eating properly, meditation, breathing.
- Allow feelings during the crisis; permit yourself to feel what you are experiencing.
- Get off the attention of what is bothering you.

Finally he gives a couple resources to check that may help us in the process of a better quality life:
- Resources and Information on Drug Abuse
- How to get off Psychiatric Drugs Safely
- Dr. John Breeding Website

Back to Social Anxiety "Life"

After a couple of months I am back to the Social Anxiety Blog, I traveled to my country to visit family and some friends. It certainly felt good to be home for a while, I can say that the social fear left me during those days, except for one time when I had dinner with my brother and a couple of his friends. As soon as I found out that we were having dinner with his friends, my friend the Anxiety showed up.

It was amazing to have that feeling again after a couple of weeks of zero anxiety; it reminded me again how vulnerable I was. For some reason I felt that the people sitting with us at the table meant danger and a menace to my life and so the symptoms began.

One of the most common symptoms I experience is the loss of my voice, I can’t talk, yes I mean it literally, I just can’t talk, is like being paralyzed, I start panicking, my heart starts beating faster, feel like I don’t have enough air, it’s just a terrible feeling of fear, that is the correct word, the biggest fear. So any ways I finally got in control and was fairly able to control myself after a while and got to pronounce a few sentences, I stayed with them for a long half hour. After that I decided to leave, it was a great relieve to get out of there.

After leaving the restaurant, even though it was a relief, I started thinking about how people at the table saw me, how they noticed my panic and fear, and so on… So my self esteem went down and I started criticizing myself for acting in such “immature way”.

Well any ways that was the only experience of anxiety I had during my trip. The rest of the time was pleasant and full of joy and warmth and love that I received from my family.

Now I’m back to my regular life, is good go be here again, and continue visiting my friend’s blogs: Dave: Working through social anxiety, Aaron, Ryan, Shawn at Anxious Living, and Drew at Shy and Quiet. Okay, I have a lot of reading to catch up with.

Difficult Times: Rising Anxiety

Last few days have been really difficult, my anxiety has increased, it’s amazing how I find my mind going through roads of the most negative thoughts, I am always thinking the worst things that can happen to me.

If I hear somebody laughing then I think this person is laughing of me, if I hear somebody saying something to another person in a bus or at the gym, etc, I think they are talking of me, or just simply keep thinking that things are going to go wrong, that I am going to loose my job, or that I will never be able to have a relationship, or that people is trying to do something bad to me… I mean it’s crazy, and my mind just doesn’t stops.

I am into a psychological process, I attend to therapy every Saturday and it has helped me a lot, I know it is an important part of my process and that it takes time… I will probably be going to a psychologist the rest of my life and that is ok with me if I feel I need to and that it‘s doing me good.

Finally today after a few days in crisis I feel the anxiety has gone down and I feel a lot better.

I have a healthy lifestyle, I don’t take any medicines, I exercise a lot, try to eat properly, I also take vitamins, avoid any substance that I think might alter me like coffee, smoking, drugs, etc. But my social life is… complicated, I am afraid of getting close to people and talk to them, every time I do it, it is like affronting the worst of the fears, I obliged myself to do it every time, but avoid to do it if I feel it is not necessary for my life.

I get desperate many times, I don’t know what to do, I would like to be able to tell people that I have social anxiety when I meet them or when I talk to people I know, I think that will reduce my anxiety, but I don’t know how to handle that, I don’t want people to look at me like I am sick or mentally ill, not everybody is ready to handle this type of information, so I just keep it to myself. Only a few people know about it: my therapist, and a couple friends of mine. I tried to talk about it in my family, but they just didn’t give me the space, they thought I was manipulating… they just don’t think it is true or possible, they just deny it.

How do you handle this, do you tell others about what is going on in your life? Do you tell other people you have social anxiety? What has worked better for you?

Getting lost in some Social Situations

Do you feel like you loose control, like you forget who you are in some or most of your social situations?

To me it’s just like if there were two different people in me; see in some social situations I feel confident, positive, and clear of whom I am. Other times I am totally lost, I forget who I am, I am scared, frightened, and anxious.

I think it has to do with the person or the group that is in front of me, if the person or group represents a threaten to me, and I feel there is in the person or group certain characteristics that reminds me of certain difficult situations of my childhood, like if I feel the people are mocking, contemptuous, sarcastic, etc; anything that reminds me of my childhood and the complicated relationships I had with others, then I immediately start feeling the symptoms of anxiety.

I keep saying to myself that in those moments I can’t forget who I am, I have to remember I am a good person, with rights, productive, responsible, committed, sensible, that deserves respect from the others, I keep saying to myself I have to remember all these good things about myself.

I just don’t know exactly what happens during those moments in my brain, it is just that something clicks inside of my head and there it is, the little child I was, vulnerable, weak, helpless, I feel so in danger like if something really bad is going to happen to me, it is a terrible fear, that is what social anxiety is, a terrible fear to social situations.

What is your experience? How do you react in these types of situations? How do you handle them?