Difficult Times: Rising Anxiety

Last few days have been really difficult, my anxiety has increased, it’s amazing how I find my mind going through roads of the most negative thoughts, I am always thinking the worst things that can happen to me.

If I hear somebody laughing then I think this person is laughing of me, if I hear somebody saying something to another person in a bus or at the gym, etc, I think they are talking of me, or just simply keep thinking that things are going to go wrong, that I am going to loose my job, or that I will never be able to have a relationship, or that people is trying to do something bad to me… I mean it’s crazy, and my mind just doesn’t stops.

I am into a psychological process, I attend to therapy every Saturday and it has helped me a lot, I know it is an important part of my process and that it takes time… I will probably be going to a psychologist the rest of my life and that is ok with me if I feel I need to and that it‘s doing me good.

Finally today after a few days in crisis I feel the anxiety has gone down and I feel a lot better.

I have a healthy lifestyle, I don’t take any medicines, I exercise a lot, try to eat properly, I also take vitamins, avoid any substance that I think might alter me like coffee, smoking, drugs, etc. But my social life is… complicated, I am afraid of getting close to people and talk to them, every time I do it, it is like affronting the worst of the fears, I obliged myself to do it every time, but avoid to do it if I feel it is not necessary for my life.

I get desperate many times, I don’t know what to do, I would like to be able to tell people that I have social anxiety when I meet them or when I talk to people I know, I think that will reduce my anxiety, but I don’t know how to handle that, I don’t want people to look at me like I am sick or mentally ill, not everybody is ready to handle this type of information, so I just keep it to myself. Only a few people know about it: my therapist, and a couple friends of mine. I tried to talk about it in my family, but they just didn’t give me the space, they thought I was manipulating… they just don’t think it is true or possible, they just deny it.

How do you handle this, do you tell others about what is going on in your life? Do you tell other people you have social anxiety? What has worked better for you?