Last few days have been really difficult, my anxiety has increased, it’s amazing how I find my mind going through roads of the most negative thoughts, I am always thinking the worst things that can happen to me.
If I hear somebody laughing then I think this person is laughing of me, if I hear somebody saying something to another person in a bus or at the gym, etc, I think they are talking of me, or just simply keep thinking that things are going to go wrong, that I am going to loose my job, or that I will never be able to have a relationship, or that people is trying to do something bad to me… I mean it’s crazy, and my mind just doesn’t stops.
I am into a psychological process, I attend to therapy every Saturday and it has helped me a lot, I know it is an important part of my process and that it takes time… I will probably be going to a psychologist the rest of my life and that is ok with me if I feel I need to and that it‘s doing me good.
Finally today after a few days in crisis I feel the anxiety has gone down and I feel a lot better.
I have a healthy lifestyle, I don’t take any medicines, I exercise a lot, try to eat properly, I also take vitamins, avoid any substance that I think might alter me like coffee, smoking, drugs, etc. But my social life is… complicated, I am afraid of getting close to people and talk to them, every time I do it, it is like affronting the worst of the fears, I obliged myself to do it every time, but avoid to do it if I feel it is not necessary for my life.
I get desperate many times, I don’t know what to do, I would like to be able to tell people that I have social anxiety when I meet them or when I talk to people I know, I think that will reduce my anxiety, but I don’t know how to handle that, I don’t want people to look at me like I am sick or mentally ill, not everybody is ready to handle this type of information, so I just keep it to myself. Only a few people know about it: my therapist, and a couple friends of mine. I tried to talk about it in my family, but they just didn’t give me the space, they thought I was manipulating… they just don’t think it is true or possible, they just deny it.
How do you handle this, do you tell others about what is going on in your life? Do you tell other people you have social anxiety? What has worked better for you?
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
Difficult Times: Rising Anxiety
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7 comments:
For me, I've told my closest friends and my Dad, but that's about it. I agree with you that it's not easy telling people you don't know very well about it, because you really have no idea if they are going to be able to handle it.
I find my anxiety tends to go up and down. Usually, it's based on physical things about my self and how much they are bothering me at the time. If I'm having bad hair days for weeks on end, it will really cause me to be anxious. If I feel good about my physical self, then my anxiety goes down and I'm more comfortable being out and about in the world.
Like you, I also tend to think negative thoughts about strangers. My pet peeve is people staring at me. No doubt I over analyze this sort of thing, but I can't help it. Makes me not want to leave the house.
I think it's great you've got a therapist to talk to. I wish I did. Can't afford it, especially right now, being out of work and all.
Best of luck,
SA D.
"I eventually met with a group of people who all suffered from sa. What I found from that was that I had a much better control on it than most of them and I saw how bad it could be for some people."
Thanks for your comments and advice rewired, I totally agree with you.
My SA is not as bad, I can handle most social situations, some are more difficult than others, some I really avoid, but the basic relationships I need for life I can handle, like at work, family, some friends, etc.
I think that it is important as you said not to think of ourselves as SA person, we need to take that tag away, I agree.
I will add a link to your blog in my blog.
rewired do you have a blog, can you please give me your blog URL? I was not able to find it through your profile, thanks.
I would have to say my pet peeve is when you tell someone that you have sa, and they respond by saying... "Oh! I feel like that sometimes too, we all do".
I constantly feel the presence of anxiety. Does it feel like a presence to you too? I can walk outside my house to get in my car and "feel" the presence of people looking at me even though there's no one to be seen.
Your comments about a therapist not being able to solve a patient's anxiety really struck me. I have tried a few anti-depressants and have tried therapy and have been expecting something to happen TO me. The thought that a therapist can't fix me that I only I can fix me is huge. That has changed how I look at this issue - Thank you.
Some of you have mentioned group therapy. I have been referred to a group by a psychologist. I'm pretty reluctant to do the "group thing". I've heard that it is the most beneficial. How did you talk yourself into going?
lost_in_my_thoughts, thanks for visiting the Social Anxiety Blog.
The feeling you mentioned:“"feel" the presence of people looking at me even though there's no one to be seen”, is part of the social anxiety. Social Anxiety is a survival response, is a fear to social situations, and is not pathology.
You also mentioned: “The thought that a therapist can't fix me that I only I can fix me is huge. That has changed how I look at this issue - Thank you.” In which way has this thought changed the way you look at SA? (note that I refuse to call it social anxiety disorder).
I consider that you can achieve a pretty normal life, even though of our social fears, we need to find a better lifestyle: eat properly, exercise, some type of spiritual connection (God, Mahoma, Buda, meditation, yoga, etc), what ever you prefer; also if possible try to get close to people that really care for you like family, friends, etc. Therapy and group therapy are really important. In a group therapy there is normally rules, they respect you, it’s not easy at the beginning, you just go there and here what others say, if you don’t want to participate you don’t have to do it initially, just wait until the right time comes for you. If you really have the chance of contacting a therapy group related to the subject, guided by a professional, I do encourage you to assist it really helps a lot. I also considered that medicines can help some times in this process but that would be the last instance really and only if it is prescribed by a physician as part of an integral treatment, medicines alone don’t work, they get you worse.
Hi social_avoidance. Thank you for visiting my blog.
I started therpay and medication probably about 2 years ago. I have tried a few different medications: celexa, prozac, effexor. I'm on effexor now, and am on trazodone for sleep. My GP has been slowly increasing effexor and I haven't noticed any change. Its frustrating. When I read your therapists message that its up to you to change, it sparked something for me because I have been waiting for the wrong thing to happen. I've been waiting for the medication to "cure" me. One day I'd wake up and miraculously the anxiety would be gone.
I think I've been avoiding dealing with the anxiety. I've just been riding it out and waiting.
Do you find that your anxiety is linked to depression? I find I get so frustrated with my axiety that it causes me to become depressed.
You mentioned that its important to have people who love you and you trust around you. I have a lot of anxiety about that because I feel like I've pushed those people away. I'm 22, I have grown apart from all of my childhood friends. I still keep in touch with them but feel like I've repleced genuine feelings with acted script. I'm noticing that anxiety is definately a genetic trait in my family. Being around my family makes my anxiety peak. I don't talk to my peers at work about my anxiety. The only one I have is my boyfriend. He has sa too, its great we really understand what the other. We're really close.
I am a very bubbly and friendly person and enjoy being in the company of people but as soon as it becomes a "relationship" that I have to maintain I bolt. Or when I feel like I need other people - say when doing a group project - I freak. My moods are too varied to maintain a relationship and I begin to feel trapped.
Have you ever had a period in your life where your anxiety shut you off to everyone in your world. Where your world started to shrink until eventually you were only comfortable around yourself and your partner? If you have, what did you do?
lost_in_my_thoughts, anxiety does make us to be moody, it has to do with chemical imbalance at some point, recent social experiences, etc. So yes, I’ve had periods of my life where I want to close myself to the world, though they haven’t been for too long, just for a couple days or so. What I try to do during those days is open up myself greatly to spiritual disciplines like meditation, trying to find the balance within myself again, looking for answers to my actual stage of mind.
Of course that anxiety can be linked to depression; some times you can get to a feeling of hopelessness, but is up to us to look for the proper road to walk. I mean dealing with anxiety is not easy, but we must assume a proactive attitude towards it. We can’t just sit down and complain about what is going on in our lives. I know it is possible, I know we can bring quality to our lives, we just need to be patience.
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