Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Social Anxiety at 5 Years Old

I remember and associate many things from my infancy, when I was 5 years old I started to go to school, that was a very difficult time. I remember that for me to go to school was a nightmare, I used to cry every morning, I didn't want to be there.

Now I now why: first I had a teacher that used the old school methods, she was allways screaming and threatening, I used to be very scared of her, plus being surounded by all the kids with whom I didn't know how to stablish a relationship.

I grew up alone, I didn't have any friends, I didn't know how to make friends, I learned from my mother that people was dangerous... because of her agressivity towards me. Other people close to me like family where the same, I was allways beeing beat up or yelled up by others, just had an aunt that was trying to defend me from my mother.

I am just finding the reasons why I am affraid of people today? Why do I have Social Anxiety? Have you ever question yourself about it? What was it like when you were a child?

And this makes sense to me... Simple, I learned that the others were agressive and dangerous, unfortunatelly.

Will continue next time.

3 comments:

Umguy said...

School was such a miserable experience. I'm not sure if I hated school because I was socially anxious or if that environment helped create the social anxiety.

Actually, most likely both are true. Some kind of feedback loop.

social avoidance said...

Thanks umguy, I believe that when you get to school, and you haven't develop social skills, the experience of socializing is very difficult, we learn those abilities at home with our first caretakers, if the experience was negative at home, then that is how we are going to see relationships with others.

I'm more concern about the roots of SA. I am trying to find a connection between genetic predisposition to it, Childhood experiences and relationships with our parents.

social avoidance said...

rewired, thanks for the kind words. By the way do you have a blog? I was checking your profile and didn't find anything. Keep in touch.