Back to Social Anxiety "Life"

After a couple of months I am back to the Social Anxiety Blog, I traveled to my country to visit family and some friends. It certainly felt good to be home for a while, I can say that the social fear left me during those days, except for one time when I had dinner with my brother and a couple of his friends. As soon as I found out that we were having dinner with his friends, my friend the Anxiety showed up.

It was amazing to have that feeling again after a couple of weeks of zero anxiety; it reminded me again how vulnerable I was. For some reason I felt that the people sitting with us at the table meant danger and a menace to my life and so the symptoms began.

One of the most common symptoms I experience is the loss of my voice, I can’t talk, yes I mean it literally, I just can’t talk, is like being paralyzed, I start panicking, my heart starts beating faster, feel like I don’t have enough air, it’s just a terrible feeling of fear, that is the correct word, the biggest fear. So any ways I finally got in control and was fairly able to control myself after a while and got to pronounce a few sentences, I stayed with them for a long half hour. After that I decided to leave, it was a great relieve to get out of there.

After leaving the restaurant, even though it was a relief, I started thinking about how people at the table saw me, how they noticed my panic and fear, and so on… So my self esteem went down and I started criticizing myself for acting in such “immature way”.

Well any ways that was the only experience of anxiety I had during my trip. The rest of the time was pleasant and full of joy and warmth and love that I received from my family.

Now I’m back to my regular life, is good go be here again, and continue visiting my friend’s blogs: Dave: Working through social anxiety, Aaron, Ryan, Shawn at Anxious Living, and Drew at Shy and Quiet. Okay, I have a lot of reading to catch up with.