Found myself with love... Being a person with social anxiety makes love life much, much difficult. Whenever you meet a person (somebody whom you might be interested in), there is always that feeling of anxiety towards what is going to happen: How can I get closer to that person? What do I do so the other person doesn’t find about my social anxiety?
I met somebody the other day, I am really interested in this person, and I found that has the initial characteristics I look for , talking about a relationship. But f**ck, I am so scared now, I don’t know what to do, I don’t know how to act. It feels so bad this sensation of insecurity, every single day I keep thinking what to do, how to talk to the person, how to act, if I should say this… no that is wrong, should I say something else? That neither, this is so f***king confusing…
I write trying to find clearness in my mind, trying to let go the anxiety feeling out of me and get to the point where I can think clear and be able to get calm.
I have many expectations towards this person, even though in reality there is no hope… see this person has a relationship already. It is just good to nurture your feelings of love and hope some times, what am I going to do now.
I am just going to continue with life, what ever happens, just have to continue doing the right things for my life: work, study, exercise, healthy lifestyle, you will meet happiness at the end.
Finally I will like to evoke the words of Harriet Beecher Stowe:
“When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you, till it seems as though you could not hang on a minute longer, never give up, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.”
Thursday, November 16, 2006
Love and Social Anxiety
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2 comentarios:
It was the prospect of a relationship with a woman that eventually put me over the edge, I lost it completely and became a wreck. It was a horrible time, i drank myself to sleep because I couldn't switch my brain off and stop the constant thoughts, worries, concerns and possibilities from screaming at me. It was the worst thing that could have happened to me and it was also the best thing that could have happened. Nothing ever came of the relationship, it died before it even began because of me but it set me on the path to dealing with SA and changing things. I don't know what advice I could give here, what works for one person may not work for another. Some people take things slowly a day at a time which is fine if it works. Sometimes not having that choice and being forced to confront your worst thoughts can be the quickest way to confronting yourself. I hope your able to work through this.
Thanks rewierd, I think it is important to work on our own personal growth (emotionally, spiritually) and try to be as honest as possible with the person we want to be involved with. When I write my thoughts I do it because I find it relieving, but I try to be as conscious as possible about the situation, what I’m going to do is just to continue my own process and let things be. I must continue my road in life, if things are meant to be then great… else I am not going to forced them, I’ll just wait for the other person’s reaction, I think that for now is a safe way to do it and not get hurt.
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